Misadventures in Online Dating: Mr. England

At the beginning of this I should probably apologize that this might come across as a little bitter.  I have never had to deal with this type of situation and even though it has been a couple of months, I still have mixed emotions about everything.  I’m not entirely sure that I understand everything that transpired and I’m sure that there is more to the story, but I can only provide my take on the situation.

It all started because the dating site I Date British Guys started following me.  It was so specific a dating site and I couldn’t believe that it would work, so of course I checked it out.  There was an entire site that was focused on getting women to match with British guys!  Now, I kind of have a thing for those accents and I just thought it was too funny so I decided to sign up.

A couple days later I matched with someone and we began to chat.  He seemed like a great guy and I was interested to learn more about him.  The only downside was that he was: 1. “Separated” and 2. Living in England.  I typically avoid anybody who is separated because I feel that they should be divorced before they go on a dating site, but for some reason I decided to go against my instincts.  I also wasn’t really looking for a long distance relationship, but I thought that he just might be worth it (and you never know).

So after the first day of messaging back and forth, he told me that he was a part time radio DJ and asked if I would listen to his show.  I was able to listen to it over the internet so I said okay.  I think that I partially fell in love with his voice because he sounded amazing.  We also chatted a bit more during his show and it was great because he would sometimes respond to me through his show.  It made everything feel legitimate.

We then moved our conversations to WhatsApp and talked as much as we could with the time difference and both of us working.  It was so exciting and I was already making plans in my head about when I could go to England and how I could meet this guy.  But my sister was worried about me, so even though I never checked him up on Facebook, she decided to.

It wasn’t hard to find him and his profile made it seem like he wasn’t quite as separated as I thought.  I was so upset.  I could not believe that I had just become the other woman.  I never wanted to be that and I didn’t know what to do.  I told him that I couldn’t do this anymore and that I was upset that he lied to me.  He told me that he never updates his Facebook account and that they had been separated for six months and living in different residences.  He had an answer for every question that I had and so I thought maybe he was being honest, so I gave him another chance.

We continued to write and then one night he even called me, which ended up being a little awkward but made me feel even better.  It was getting more and more serious and I was so excited, but then it turned.  I got sick with a cold or something and so I didn’t really feel like talking.  He seemed so sweet and supportive at first, but then he kept asking me if I was still going to listen to his show that night.  I told him that I didn’t know because I was going to take a nap but that I would try.  I did end up listening to his show and he dedicated a song to me but it was to “a girl that he knew was not feeling well that day.”  I could have been anybody and it made me slightly suspicious

I didn’t write him the rest of the week and he didn’t write me either!  He knew I was sick so I was disappointed that he didn’t check up on me.  I then decided to check Facebook and on the radio’s page, I noticed that his wife had liked a number of the posts and made a comment about his dedicating a song to her.  I couldn’t believe it.  If they were separated, I don’t think that she got the memo.

I told him that I didn’t want to deal with this long distance thing anymore and since I was in the process of moving I needed to focus on that.  He said that he understood.  Then a few days later he sent me another message and asked if I was going to listen to his show that night.  Then a week later he did it again.  I couldn’t believe it and wondered if all he was looking for was someone to be his fan and increase his audience.  I disabled WhatsApp and put this confusing guy behind me.

Have you ever been the other woman?  What did you do?

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