Misadventures in Dating Apps: Bait and Switch

If you’ve read my previous Misadventures in Dating Apps (part 1, part 2, and part 3), you know that I haven’t had the best luck in using Dating Apps.  After I moved to New Jersey though, I started using them pretty regularly.  For an entire year, I only went on a single date.  I still continued to use them but it was almost more for entertainment than really thinking something was going to come of it (see: Dating App Bingo).

The Bait

Over the year, I had matches on different Apps with a lot coming from Bumble.  But the guys never responded to my first message (I guess I must be really bad at messages).  So, I was surprised when I not only got a match on Bumble, but we actually started a conversation.  The guy was really interesting and I found myself more excited about him then I had over a guy in a long time.

Conversation flowed easily but I was worried about messaging him too often.  I tried to hold myself back (which trust me, is not easy for me).  We seemed to have a lot in common and I was really excited about meeting him.  Usually I wait for the guys to make a comment about getting together.  With him, I initiated the conversation because I wanted to make sure that we actually got together rather than just talking for ages and then drifting apart.

The Switch

But then it turned weird when he mentioned that there was this speed dating event that he was hosting and thought I should go to (coming soon: Misadventures in Speed Dating).  I was confused but I made a joke about how he was already trying to pawn me off on other guys.  At first, I didn’t really want to go to the speed dating event.  The more I thought about it, though, the more I decided that it would be a great opportunity.  So I decided to sign up.

We were still talking and I made a comment about how I would like to meet him before the speed dating event.  We weren’t able to find a time that would work for us and he wasn’t even sure if he was going to go to the event.  I ended up going to the event and texted him to see if he would be there, but something had come up so he couldn’t come.  I’ll go into all of the details of the speed dating event next time.

Switch Part 2

After the speed dating thing, we continued to talk.  It was a little strange as he kept asking me about the guys that I matched with.  We also kept trying to meet, but it never seemed to be the right timing for one of us.  Finally, I decided to sign up for a different event that he was hosting (not just to meet him, but I thought it would be fun).  I told him about it and we talked about how we could meet at the event since he was going to be there.

This event actually made me a little nervous since I wasn’t going to know anyone there and I’m not good at these types of events.  I didn’t want to cling to him but I didn’t know what else I would be doing.  Even though I had a ton of excuses, I didn’t let myself be swayed and I showed up to the event (coming soon: Misadventures in Meetups: NJ Style).  It did end up being a little awkward and I’ll share all of the details soon.  And overall it left me feeling that he didn’t want to spend time with me and was just trying to get me to pay for his events.

Switch on a Switch?

After the event, we did end up hanging out briefly.  It started off pretty awkward, because let’s face it, it’s me.  But even after we warmed up a bit, I still didn’t feel that there was any spark or anything.  We did still text after that and he asked me to hang out with him again.  I guess we’ll just have to see if something comes of it.

Have you ever felt that a guy was using you?  What did you do?

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