If you read Misadventures in Matchmaking: Cultural Differences Part 1, you know that my date and I didn’t make sense on paper. It makes me wonder, how do Matchmakers determine if a date is going to be successful? In the book Matchmaker Secrets: The Six Predictors of Dating Success, Elizabeth Cobey-Piper and Susie Hardesty talk about their experiences as Matchmakers. Both of them mention how early on in their careers, they had misconceptions of what would be the perfect match (I hope that my Matchmaker isn’t the same way). But through their experiences, they have learned better signs for dating success.
At the beginning of the book, it kind of felt like an advertisement for the authors’ Matchmaking service. Even throughout the book, they continue to discuss their experience and service, but it creates a backdrop for what dating success actually looks like. After the experiences that Cobey-Piper and Hardesty have had as Matchmakers, they have developed what they feel are the “Six Predictors of Dating Success.” Basically, if you embody these predictors, you should be successful when it comes to dating according to the authors.
The authors discuss the six concepts that they have determined predict if you will be a dating success, explaining why these are predictors. They also give positive and negative examples of clients that they have had and why they were either successful or a failure due to each idea. Finally, the authors give tips on how the reader can incorporate each and also be successful.
Some of the predictors that Cobey-Piper and Hardesty mentioned are different than what you typically hear in society, but they make sense. Why would love find you when you stop looking for it? Rather if it is important, you should make it a priority. Also, there are stigmas on the different vehicles that people use to find love which the authors think you should ignore. Yes, there are avenues that fit certain people better and you should determine which is best for you, but don’t discount it because of popular beliefs.
There are some other recommendations that I’m not sure I agree with. Rather than narrowing your search to find the perfect person, they recommend that you broaden your search. I know that in theory it makes sense, but I’m having a hard time agreeing with it. I recently asked my Matchmaker to lower my age limit five years. They kept setting me up with guys at the end of my range (14 years old than me) and it wasn’t working out. Another recommendation is to go on three dates, but I feel like the dates that I have gone on, only one was necessary to know that it wasn’t going to work.
The predictors that they list make sense in that people who have those qualities would be more successful, but I think that there are other aspects that the authors left out. Just because according to their predictors, you should be successful, does that guarantee that you will meet the right guy? Or that they would be able to set you up with the right guy? You might have the attitude that they mentioned and putting yourself out there, but maybe it’s not the right time and you also have to be patient. Maybe the guy that you are right for isn’t using the same vehicle that you are. There are too many other scenarios to say that the author’s predictors are the final word in dating success.
As I mentioned there are some valid points that aren’t typically addressed or are counter cultural. It is also an interesting read with true stories that the reader can relate to. But there are also points that I wasn’t sold on and I don’t think that you can definitively say that these six things can predict whether or not you will be successful at dating. Overall, I just don’t feel that this book is a must read when it comes to books about dating.
Have you read the book Matchmaker Secrets: The Six Predictors of Dating Success? What did you think of it? Do you think that there are predictors that can determine whether or not you will be successful at dating?