I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this or not, but I’m not always that observant. Case in point, when I stumbled on the book “Not Your Mother’s Rules” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, I thought it would be a good counterpoint to the book “All the Rules” (see book review). I obviously didn’t realize both books were by the same authors until I started reading the second one. That being said, I’m actually glad that I read both books.
Even though the second one can stand on it’s own, it was nice having the context of the first book. These books are highly controversial as they insight strong opinions in people. The earlier books, don’t seem as relevant anymore, though. What rules should govern this new environment of online dating and dating apps? This book addresses this new arena and was the main difference between the two books.
The authors haven’t changed their opinions and a number of the previous rules were revisited in the new books. In fact, some of their earlier principles were just adjusted to fit current situations, if they were modified at all. Rather than waiting to call back, it also discusses texting rules. Even though they have been updated, they still feel outdated. They are also very different from every other author that I’ve read and still made me feel conflicted regarding which advice is best to follow.
The most relevant rule for me was the first, which is about being a “Creature Unlike Any Other.” While reading through this section, I was still plagued with doubts and questions. It lists all of the things that makes this “Creature.” Some of these were superficial appearance comments which I’ve heard before. But there were other points, that left me thinking, “that isn’t me.” Is this the person that I want to be or do I just want to be myself. Obviously my way hasn’t worked so far, but which advice should I follow?
Most of the books that I’ve read have said similar things. They might focus on different topics but they have related messages. The “Rules” books are very different from the others, but state that they have the same results. It could be that different methods work for different people, but as I mentioned before it can be confusing on which advice is the best. I guess if you have tried other recommendations without success, this could be another alternative for you.
Have you read any of the “Rules” books? Did you agree or disagree with them? Have you had any results following the “Rules”?